I have been thinking quit a lot about fear lately. I have experienced a bit of it and was wonder what that is?
The definition of fear in the dictionary says: “An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat”.
Fear is irrational. And when you see peoples fears you might not understand it. You might think its silly “ Why on earth would they be afraid of that?”.
I am petrified of the dentist. I don’t remember ever having a bad experience, but I probably get a panic attack 99% of the time and start crying. Its like pushing a button. It is all anticipation it’s the sounds, the instruments and the what ifs. I am working on it…
During these times all the fear has been amplified and rightly so in the sense that we are in the middle of a pandemic and isolation . It´s an invisible thing. Its not like my grandparents that lived in Denmark that was occupied by the Nazi´s for 5 years. That was a visible treat, soldier with machine guns on the street corners, curfew, black out curtains every night, rations etc.
How can we overcome fear. I invite you to ask your self, if you are actually being threatened in the moment or is it “ A What If” or anticipation. Fear can lower our immune system and create all sorts of imbalances in your system. Take a deep breath start to investigate and I am sure you are on your way out of your fear.
I took some time of writing not intentionally but I felt bombarded with information. And I needed some time to process. We are bombarded with so much information everyday. One say this, one say the other and the division is growing larger and larger.
What can we do about this division? It seems in quotes both sides are getting further and further from each other and nobody wants to budge. But don’t we want the same thing when you get down to it?.
I don’t have the answer but one thing, I have embodied more and more is that I am my own best friend and when I quit my mind and check in the answers come. The answers are not outside. I think, we as citizens of this blue planet, it is our responsibility to do our best to serve humanity. To be our own best friend so that when we venture outside we can be the best friend of our environment literally speaking but also spiritually speaking.
Be kind to your self. You can only be as kind to other people as you are to your self.
On that note Take good care of your self
I wish you a beautiful weekend.
I recently got the opportunity to go home and take a breather. I am from Denmark and it is one of the places in the world with the lowest numbers of Covid-19 and you could tell. It was wonderful to be in nature and to not wear a mask wherever you go. Masks are not a regulation thus far.
The country did go into lock down for 2.5 months but bent the curve quit quickly and things in quotes went back to normal. Mind you in my belief the old normal don´t exist anymore but you get the gist.
Being away in an environment less stressful and a place where you can breathe better… literally, the past 4.5 months got the space to sink in. The past 4.5 I put myself in a creative bobble and picked up my writing and kept going with my wonderful theater group working on numerous things. My mission was to keep the wheels turning and I appreciate everything about that. But getting bit of a break was needed and that I had the luxury to reflect, I am deeply grateful.
One thing that really striked me getting out of LA was the concept of time. Before this pandemic time was linear. You followed what was know to be “time”. Some say time does not exist. That everything happens simultaneously. You are going to have to do some research on that one if that spiked interest…. But mostly the world pressed pause and the concept of time changed. I don´t know about you but I have had to practice patience even more than usual. Things are not happening as fast and yet it seems like time is flying.
I want to give you permission to stop. To take a breath. To take some time… an hour… a night…..a day… to take it all in and process. You are not behind. Everything you need to do you have time for. Take a moment to get used to this new concept of time.
I was talking to a friend the other day and the conversation has popped up in my mind several times since. In short the conversation was about her ex-husband. Its been 10 years since they parted ways, but they have two children between them, a complicated relationship. She has a hard time letting go of an imaginary image of what could have been. I invited her to consider that its time to leave that behind and start fresh right here and right now in this moment.
The pandemic we are going through has so much meaning and lessons in it. And through this conversation I was thinking about pre-corona and that off course there will be a post corona. So what are you willing to leave behind in the pre-corona era. What have you discovered that no longer serves you? What do you wish to be free from?.
Well now more than ever, the noise has been removed, we got of the treadmill of life and we have had time to reflect or even some forced to, to turn the leaves in our lives. But isn’t that a good thing?. You now have the opportunity to let go of what is wearing you down.
You can free up that space with something better, more meaning full or simply nothing. Don’t be afraid of “nothing” because maybe you just don’t have the answer yet. Take a moment think about it and see how much lighter you feel. It is OK to let go. Every experience in our lives is here for a certain amount of time and every experience is here to teach us something. But we don’t have to hold on forever. What you don’t know, you don’t know, but that doesn’t mean you wont know forever.
Clear up some space and find out.
There is no way around this. We live in turbulent times. And right now we are in the center of the storm. I am though very excited about this moment in history. A movement that has cried out loud for so long has finally created a momentum and we as citizens of this world have to help in keeping this movement going.
We are bombarded everyday with new information. We are told to read, watch listen share all sorts of things. And how great is that the information and education is at our doorsteps.I think it´s important to sort through this information. Filter what rings true to your essence and as to what is for the greater good of all.
I head a podcast where someone asked. With what voice to you listen to?
Do you listen through the voice of fear?
Do you listen through the voice of Ego?
Do you listen through the voice of source and truth?
This is very interesting to me. Because how do you filter alt this information given to you? Is it though fear, Ego or Source. Depending on what you choose the outcome will be very different. This takes honesty with one self. Some might be unconscious and habitual or you don’t even know. It takes courage constantly checking in, and maybe peeling of some layers to know what filter the information comes through.
Moving forward I think more than ever we got to do a deep self check-in and it´s our responsibility as citizen of this beautiful plant earth to do the work so that our information is always filtered through truth aka source with in my opinion always is love.
This was a difficult one to write because there are so many triggers and its heated. But that can’t hold me back. We have to give voice to the uncomfortable as well.
This moment in history is full of opportunity to finally start the healing and put an end to the systemic racism happening in America right now. But we need as many people as possible on board voicing their unhappiness with the current system including people of all color. Educating our selves. Have more empathy and understanding for the deep trauma surfacing.
A couple of thing I have understood on a deeper level are and this is only the begging so be patient with me. I am from Denmark born and raised. I was not born in America and It has been very challenging to understand the level of hate and racism operating in this country.I thought it was enough knowing a soul is a soul and that I am not a racist. Not being racist but silent is not enough.
White privilege. That was a trigger for me. I did not have an easy start to life and have experienced trauma. White privilege is not about not acknowledging white peoples traumas, emotions or experiences. We have white privilege because there are curtain thing we never have to deal with because of the color of our skin.
Black lives matter. Was a trigger to because off course all lives matter? Yes they do. But right now the houses of the black lives are on fire and have been for 400 hundred years and deep rooted systemic inequality and racism has been happening and we need as a collective to put out that fire. And for some Black lives don’t matter and that needs to change.
Rioting and looting. When life wanted me to make a change. It did not stroke me gently on the cheek over tee and coffeecake asking me to make a change. It slapped me in the face because I didn’t respond, see, feel or hear the message. Anger and pain can be irrational and when you haven’t been heard for so long and have tried generating a conversation over and over again for years and people keep dying because your life doesn’t matter things can get heated. Some people have held in their trauma for generations because of fear. Please don’t misunderstand me. I grief for the people who have lost their businesses and livelihood I am not pro looting. But when you think about the pain, suffering and trauma, I understand the human behavior behind it. This is consequence of not wanting to change the system. Yes there are some rotten eggs but they come in all shapes, sizes and color. We live I a binary world.
The biggest life lesson acting has given me is “TO LISTEN”. So I am here listening to you. I hear you, I feel you, I see you and I love you.
Let this be a time of change
I have been reading the book “ Man’s search for meaning” by the Austrian holocaust survivor Dr. Victor Frankl. He survived the concentration camp Auschwitz during the 2nd world war. He was a Neurologist and Psychiatrist before the war. He wrote the book shortly after the liberation. The book in short is about why some survived the camps and why some died. How did some survive the gruesome circumstances of starvation, dehumanization, Typhus other illnesses and other extreme human conditions for years. This brings me to the situation we are in. Why are some thriving and why are some crumbling as we speak. It´s a complicated matter I know.
When I graduated Acting school in NY, shortly after I witnessed 11th of September. I saw the second plane crash into the twin tower. I saw the first tower collapse maybe the second one I actually don’t remember. I witnessed 3000 people die. Here I was ready to start my acting career. During the aftermath I had an existential crisis. Because Why? I wanted to act but suddenly it seemed so superficial and quite frankly who cares about acting. I had to dig deep and figure out my why. How can I create meaning for myself and meaning in my future and career?
This brings me back to Dr. Frankls book. The reason why, according to him from a psychological point of view, people including himself survived because they had a strong “WHY”. So when crisis hit and you don’t have a strong why there is no foundation or hope. I invite you to look at your why. If you are feeling discouraged during these times maybe its time to do your “ Man search for meaning”. That might involve some changes our it’s making your already chosen path even stronger. I know mine has. As Nietzsche wrote “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how”.
A lot of the time inspiration just comes to us. While we are driving, walking, meditating, working out at the gym or cooking. The inspiration we are looking for just naturally flows. But what do you do, when the flow is not happening?During these times the uncertainty, anxiety, fear and worry can differently block the flow and rightly so.
I was writing my first TV pilot. I wanted to start creating my own content. I had an idea I sat down and wrote 30 pages nonstop In 2-3 hour. The flow was just there, it was easy and I didn’t have a concept of time. I was just enjoying the creative flow. After the 30 pages I stopped felt proud and decided to continue the next day. The next day I sat down and nothing absolutely nothing. I did that for 3 days in a row same result. I got frustrated. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, a wake or a sleep but I couldn’t get in quotes unstuck.3 weeks later I asked a writer friend of mine what advice she had. She said I have two options. 1. Leave it alone and just think about it till something opens up. 2. Get a lot of beverages, sit down and do not move until you have written a certain amount of pages. Obviously I had tried option 1 for 3 weeks. So I went for option 2. And it worked. In a couple of hours I had finished the 1-hour pilot draft one.
Sometimes we have to “DO” in order for the energy to move and get inspiration and other times we will have that light bulb moment and voila there it is. I would invite you during these challenging times, if you are lacking inspiration no matter what that might be, to just do. You might surprise your self.
Stay Safe, keep washing those hands.
CHANGE. The word has suddenly been bend in neon on a huge billboard screaming at us. The news echoes it in fear , life will never be the same. For some reason society has made it up so that change equals bad.
But what is change? What does change mean to you? When I look back at, when I have made some big changes in my life, when I deep dived into the unknown. I always landed on my feet and it always turned out for the better. No exception.
I was one day listening to the Indian guru Sadhguru. He was talking about mindset, headspace, thoughts, the unknown etc. He said: “ You guys are always creating so many horror movie. Why don’t you create some romantic comedies?” he laughed. Instantly I had a light bulb moment. Both scenarios are illusions in the present time. Our thoughts are just creating a “what if”. The horror movie in a space of fear of the unknown. The Rom-Com in a mind frame of faith and hope in the unknown.
Now as I mentioned they are both illusions in the present moment. But what feels better to you? A Horror movie or A Rom Com?
To come back to change. A lot of the time, when we can’t see, what’s on the other side of change. It can create a lot of turmoil within us. But change doesn’t necessarily mean bad. I invite you to create more Rom-Coms and have the courage to imagining the other side of change, that it might bring something good along the way.
Now stay home and wash your hands.
I wanted to touch on the subject. I am sure there are many out there feeling the loneliness right now.
I have had several phases in my life feeling extreme loneliness. Moving countries several times. Being single at times, but also I have felt lonely in relationships and friendships.
It made me think of an experience I had when I was living in London. I was out grocery shopping with my roommate at the time. When I had the stuff I needed and was ready to check out I couldn’t find Sean. I looked around and saw him standing by the freezer section talking to an elderly. They were jabbing away and I got impatient. When he finally came over I said to him why he was taking so long. He said “ Marie, I might be the only person this man has spoken to in days, maybe even a week, so I take my time with him”. I never forgot and felt ashamed about by impatience.
To come back to the situation we are in right now the silent phases might be longer. Maybe you always distract your self. Now, stress, anxiety, uncertainty and solitude can bring things to the surface. Remember you are never alone. There is always a person a phone call away. Be brave, make the call, say how you feel. And for you people, who have their person, maybe make an unsolicited call to someone who doesn’t have their person yet. When you are out (obviously very limited now) remember to be kind to the strangers you meet. Maybe you are the only one they have spoken to in a while.
Stay Safe, Stay home, wash your hands.